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Thursday, December 4, 2008

Example

Here's a short excerpt from "The Altaveel Chronicle," which is now called something else, my first novel, or was it the second?

"Why you.....," Milt took a step closer and let loose a long right that would have caught my jaw for sure, if I hadn't ducked under it and threw a powerful right of my own into the shortribs on his right side as he continued on around from the force of his blow. My punch knocked the wind out of his sails and bent him over hitting his head on the bar and effectively putting him out of action.

Cranky came around the bar with his arm held high holding his shilaleigh ready to crack my skull, saying, "What'd you do that for? He's my best customer!"

"Hold on there, Cranky! And put that club down. He's the one started this. I was just making polite conversation, when he took a swing at me."

He slowly lowered the club, but said, "You better get out of here, because when he wakes up, he'll be gunning for you."

"He wouldn't shoot an unarmed man, would he?"

"He ain't too ethical, he don't care if you got a gun or not."

He was going to continue talking, but the door swung open and Jim and Oakley entered the tavern. Seeing Milt lying on the floor, Jim asked, "What happened to Milt?"

"I guess he drank too much, too fast. He fell and hit his head on the bar," I answered.

Cranky gave me a nonchalant stare and went back behind the bar with his club. "Why don't you boys take Milt on home. You, Too, Chappie, better make tracks before he comes around. He might not remember what happened, and take it out on you."

"That's all right. I want to parley with you in private as soon as they clear out," I replied.

Oakley drew his gun, pointing it in my direction, saying, "You heard him. Better clear out of here before he gets awake. Milt's meaner than a grizzly, if he thinks he's been tricked or something."

Jim broke in, "Put that thing away, Oakley, before you get hurt, too. You heard Chappie say he wants to talk to Cranky, and I'm sure he will. Let's take Milt home. Grab his feet, and I'll get him under the arms."

So much for that, it's just to show that I do write something other than the blog.

Since I haven't ran across any perfect way to write a synopsis, the ones I have submitted have done the job, at least like the queries, I haven't received any direct reference to them in the rejections. I find it difficult to explain 50,000 words in no more than two or three pages like a lot of writers, and tell everything that goes on. But, if that's what they want, that's what they'll get, imperfect or whatever.

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