Sunday, October 7, 2012

General Crook and his Bad-Ass Scouts

As the Cibecue Uprising was going on and turning into the search for bad-ass, renegade Apaches, it turned into a hunt for the baddest-ass renegade to leave the reservation in a while. Geronimo, I'm talking about. And the Government had to send for the baddest-ass Army General to track him down, General Crook. He had earlier been re-assigned, but the situation was on the verge of getting out of hand and the Army Chief of Staff sent an order to General Crook to do what he had to do to bring Geronimo to justice. The General himself made visits to Mexican authorities to coordinate the operation to ensure that the Federales didn't start a border war.

That bad-ass General contacted those bad-ass scouts, Al Seiber and Tom Horn, to go with the Army assignees and the bad-ass volunteers and the bad-ass Apache Scouts to lead him to Geronimo's hideout down there south of the border. By the time they made preparations for the excursion, there were more Apaches than white soldiers, but Mr. Seiber and Mr. Horn were along to control them, and these Apaches had had enough of Bad-Ass Geronimo, anyway, due to his depredations and outright killing of some of the northern Apaches. He was a bad-ass neighbor.

Well, we all know that Geronimo was called to a meeting and he actually showed up to have a bad-ass parley with Crook and compadres down below the border, and we all know that Bad-Ass Geronimo let them take him back to the reservation. I guess he couldn't steal enough ammunition to fit the rifles the band had stolen and seeing the light, Geronimo said, "Heap big mistake, General Bad-Ass Crook. My party is in tough shape with hunger, pestilence, and bad-ass Federales, so, please take me back home and let me live in peace with my good-ass white neighbors."

And there was Peace!

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